Growing up I loved my fairytales and they shaped me into the hopeless romantic I am today. Every little girl dreams that when they grow up, they’ll find their prince, fall madly in love and live happily ever after. As we grow up this dream gets bashed and it changes shape as we become more cynical. A high school heartbreak that leaves you wondering how you’ll ever love again because, you know, your sweetheart was your first love and no-one could possibly compare. To a more intense type of relationship where you learn who you are and what you want and realise that being with this person just couldn’t end in happy ever after. Our dreams get bashed. The little girl in us starts to doubt herself and what she has to offer. We start thinking that only the lucky ones can find love. We believe that we aren’t good enough. Or we believe that all the good ones are taken. But reality can be a fairytale if you know what you want. And you can live happily ever after.
What I’ve learnt is that romance shouldn’t end when you get married or become seriously committed. Just because he’s got the girl, doesn’t mean that the romantic gestures (that actually made her fall in love with him) should end. And it’s not just up to him, us girls have to keep going with our gestures of love.
Everyone is different and prefers different types of affection. Some prefer gifts, whilst others prefer loving displays of affection. Here’s what I love the most.
Bunches of flowers. Buying or picking flowers, not because he’s feeling guilty or because he missed an important celebration, but rather because he was thinking of me on his way home from work. I don’t expect a bunch of flowers every day, because let’s be honest I wouldn’t have enough vases in my house. I don’t expect flowers every month. A bunch of flowers “just because” means the world to me.
Tickle me. Not the wrestle-you-down-and-tickle-you-till-you’re-gasping-for-breath type of tickling, though there’s a place for that too. I love to be touched and light fingertips trailing across my skin relaxes me while giving me goosebumps.
Cuddle on the couch. I’m a homebody. My favourite place is on the couch, under a blanket with a loved one watching a movie or a favourite programme. Throw in a slab of chocolate and some tickles and I’m in my very happy place.
Romantic dinners. I don’t need to be taken out each time, but new restaurants are nice to try. I love dinners for just the two of us with a candle or two. I love that thought and love has been put into dinners prepared at home.
Of course I’d love those overly romantic gestures like a surprise trip to Paris or New York, but mostly I believe that it’s the thought that counts. When he goes to the shops and finds something that he’d think I’d like or want and gets it just because. When he makes an effort to get tickets to my favourite band/artist or tickets to a movie that I’ve wanted to watch. Or when he comes up behind me while I’m cooking/baking/doing the dishes and puts his arms around me for a quick hug. At the end of the day, it’s the simple little things that matter the most… Those little things that don’t necessarily cost a cent.
What are your favourite romantic gestures?