Bittersweet

Posted By on Mar 23, 2010 | 11 comments


This week will be filled with bittersweet moments…

The happy moments will be seeing my mom again (she lives in Abu Dhabi so I don’t get to see her often), meeting my sister’s little one for the first time, and starting my new job at the beginning of April.

The sad and teary moments will be spent with my grandfather.

He has been in hospital for over six weeks. He was first admitted with a collapsed lung. A few weeks ago he found himself in the CCU (Coronary Care Unit). And last week he had to be put on a dialysis machine for a few hours a day as his kidneys were failing. When I saw him last Thursday he was weak, pale, and was slipping in and out of consciousness. I also had to keep reminding him of what time, day or date it was. (Note: the CCU is -1 level at Milpark. You cannot see the sky to see if it’s day or night. You cannot see a clock to tell if it’s morning or evening. And there are no calendars. The ugly fluorescent lights are always on. And when there is no-one visiting, you’re all alone. Things happen minute by minute, day by day.)

My dad called yesterday afternoon to let me know that he and my aunt had decided that it was time to take my grandfather off all artificial life saving equipment, remove all the tubes and monitors, and get him discharged from hospital. He will be taken home this afternoon, put on oxygen and have round-the-clock care from nursing staff. He will now be able to tell when it’s morning or afternoon. He’ll be reminded of the day and date with a calendar beside his bed. He’ll be able to keep track of the days and nights that pass. The decision to move him home was made so that he can feel more at peace when the time comes to leave this world – so he can pass away graciously without all the tubes and beeping machines and awful hospital smells.

I have a gut feeling that his time will come just as my sister brings her little one into this world…

I hope that if he is to survive this, that he is given the strength to fight. And if he is meant to go into the arms of my grandmother, that he is taken quickly and painlessly.

My dad has organised for communion to be brought and given tomorrow morning, so please send your hugs and kisses and keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

*Poem credit

11 Comments

  1. *hugs* many prayers for you all. *love and more hugs*

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  2. O honey. Wishing your grandfather and your family peace and strength.

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  3. So sorry to hear about your Grandfather.

    I wish him well for the time he has left. Time he will, at least, be able to spend with family.

    Sending strength to you and your family!

    H

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  4. Aw big hugs Jess. Its a pity that you have to temper your excitement with sadness.

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  5. Huge Huge hugs Jess 🙁 so sorry about your grandad.
    That CCU place sounds horrible, I’m sure he’ll be much more at peace at home. Will be thinking about you tomorrow

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  6. It is so tough saying goodbye to someone you love. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all.

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  7. *hugs* you are your family are in my thoughts and prayers. beautiful memories and a life well lived is what you must take with you and comfort knowing that his last days will be with loved ones instead of a cold impersonal hospital. much love honey xx

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  8. Hi its my first time here, and I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I am sure that he will be a lot more comfortable at home, surrounded by those who love him. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  9. Thank you for all the wonderful comments. 🙂
    The service was beautiful! I managed to keep the tears at bay and focussed on celebrating with him.

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  10. The story of your grandfather made me cry. *huge hug* my friend!

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